Al-Anon is a worldwide fellowship that offers a program of recovery for the families and friends of alcoholics, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. Members gain comfort and understanding through sharing their experience, strength and hope. Al-Anon is based on the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous. Al-Anon is a separate fellowship from AA.
Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics recover from the effects of living with alcoholism. This is done by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic. There are no dues or fees for membership. The only requirement is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization, or institution; does not engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any cause.
Sharing of similar problems binds individuals and groups together in a bond that is protected by a tradition of anonymity. Anonymity is the foundation of the Al-Anon organization. Be assured that your call to Al-Anon or presence at a meeting will be held confidential. What is said member to member will be kept confidential and what is shared in a meeting stays in a meeting.
Online meetings and support is a great resource for both newcomers to, and old time members of Al-Anon. It is not suggested that they replace face to face meetings and contact with other Al-Anon members in your community, unless truly necessary. However, they do provide many with a way to start or continue the journey of healing and recovery for those adversely effected by a family members or friends alcoholism. We invite you to join us in our chat room for online meetings and general support between the meetings, as well as interact on our group message board!
Al-Anon is an anonymous fellowship. Everything that is said here, in the group meeting and member-to-member, must be held in confidence. Only in this way can we feel free to say what is on our minds and in our hearts, for this is how we help one another in Al-Anon.
PROTECT YOUR ANONYMITY! This site, the chat/meeting room and message board is viewable by the general online public. When registering on the message board use only your first name and last initial to identify yourself. On both the board and in the chat room, use a nickname that others outside of Al-Anon do not know you by.
Mon. - Fri. 9 AM eastern time, Sat. & Sun. 10 AM.
Mon - Sat. 9 PM eastern time, Sun. 7 PM.
Our message board is a great place to ask questions, share your situation with others, and obtain their experience, strength and hope, with the solutions that worked for them. It also gives you a place to share your experience, strength and hope with others.
Detachment with love means caring enough about others to allow them to learn from their mistakes. It also means being responsible for our own welfare and making decisions without ulterior motives-the desire to control others. Ultimately we are powerless to control others anyway. Most family members of an addicted person have been trying to change that person for a long time, and it hasn't worked. We are involved with other people but we don't control them. We simply can't stop people from doing things if they choose to continue. Understood this way, detachment with love plants the seeds of recovery. When we refuse to take responsibility for other people's alcohol or drug use, we allow them to face the natural consequences of their behavior. If a child asks why mommy missed the school play, we do not have to lie. Instead, we can say, "I don't know why she wasn't here. You'll have to ask her." Perhaps the essence of detachment with love is responding with choice rather than reacting with anxiety. When we threaten to leave someone, we're usually tuned in to someone else's feelings. We operate on raw emotion. We say things for shock value. Our words arise from blind reaction, not thoughtful choice. Detachment with love offers another option -- responding to others based on thought rather than anxiety. For instance, as parents we set limits for our children even when this angers them. We choose what we think is best over the long term, looking past the children's immediate emotional reaction. In this sense, detachment with love can apply whenever we have an emotional attachment to someone-family or friend, addicted or sober. The key is to stop being responsible for others and be responsible to them-and to ourselves.
The American Medical Association has 3 primary tenets by which a "disease" is defined
1. It's Chronic - It cannot be wished away, willed away, ignored away, and it is inclined to periodically come out of remission (rear its ugly head again) even with the best known treatments being undertaken and all indicators of a full remission in place.
2. It's Progressive - In the absence of agressive and effective treatment it always gets worse, never better.
3. It's Potentially Fatal - There are no guarantees. Even though the sufferer's illness has been in remission for a substantial period of time, and their health relatively restored, should they be inflicted with another bout it could result ultimately in their death.
We are always looking for regular, frequent group members we are familar with to volunteer for the service positions of chairing scheduled meetings, email responders, Message Board Moderators, etc. If you would like to volunteer to provide a service for the group, please send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
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